Let us gaily tread the measure

If you want to know how they're hiding the security cameras in the Cali PotC ride, ASK ME.

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 04:32:21 GMT

DUDES TODAY I HELPED AN IMAGINEER

"What would you like me to put on the invoice?"

"Uh, just 'Bob Loblaw, Disney Imagineer.' That's I-M---"

"Sir. I know how to spell Imagineer."

My catses, let me show you them.

Thu, 28 May 2009 01:11:41 GMT

I have surveyed the internet, and I think the best way to reintegrate with the blogging community is to upload a video of my cats getting a bath.

Orange was filthier, but her bath wasn't quite as angsty.

I'll say something of substance later. Just wanted to let you know I am alive, and thanks for bearing with me.

Her dad was the greatest character, hands down.

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 07:56:16 GMT

As the credits rolled on Twilight and we capped off the bulk of our giggles, the ribbing began in earnest.

"If they're really hitting the balls that hard enough to generate thunder-like sound, how the hell are their baseball bats not breaking?"

To which my friend said: "Well. They're vampire bats."

NEVER DISMISS THE AWESOME POWER OF A WELL-TIMED GRANDPA JOKE. That one nearly killed me.

This series gets mega points for being a girly romance with the laziest romance and weakest female characters ever! It's sort of impressive!

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 07:40:41 GMT

Man, real life has been distracting in an unbloggable way. WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE LACK OF CEILING IN MY BATHROOM? Man, I barely want to hear about that. Know what it's like to make eye contact with 80 years of infrastructure while you pee? I could write an epic poem about it.

Foley drew this pretty sweet tat on my shoulder in honor of the update to littlebooks.

Follow littlebooks_rss, or readlittlebooks on twitter, or just subscribe to the newsletter at http://www.readlittlebooks.com to be pestered of the next update.

Lemme throw a barrel at 'em!

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 23:24:34 GMT

The Rock as Race Bannon may be the greatest thing I have ever heard of in my life.

Between this and Cate Blanchett maybe being Maid Marian (suck on that, Audrey Hepburn), I am tenatively pumped about the future of the cinemas.

The "I Found A Photoshop Filter" school of film making

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:19:59 GMT

Man, I've always hated Donnie Darko --- not in the manner I usually dislike things, but an actual crazy hate, like my vision goes blurry and I want to punch a hole in Richard Kelly's face, and then fill that hole with bees. I go from zero to

in nothing flat.

Under the recommendation of friends, we put Southland Tales on the Netflix queue, and gave it a shot late night, based on the thesis that I will watch any post-apocalypse movie once.

I... I think I may hate Richard Kelly. A pure, innocent hate, all-consuming and unthinking.

Watching that movie, I realized, this is what racism feels like. I am a Richard Kelly bigot. I am scared of him moving to my neighborhood. I do not think he should be allowed to reproduce. I do not want him to vote.

I want to punch him in the face, and fill his face with bees.

People I love and respect cherish his films, and that's fine. I respect your right to admire his work, admire his narrative voice. My bigotry doesn't extend that far. I just honestly and truly never want to think about him ever again for the rest of my life.

Unless I can fill him with bees. ...bees that have polio.

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 05:34:12 GMT

THE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS

Ah, Immonen. It was sweet while it lasted.

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 21:36:00 GMT

"Ultimate fans need not despair, though. Quesada announced that the Ultimate stories will continue in Ultimate Comics, a new line to be launched in July. Brian Bendis is on Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, with art by David LaFuente. Bendis promises that the series will trace the events following Ultimatum and, though it won't be a reboot, it does feature a new cast of characters, and we may see someone new in the Spidey suit."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY STORIES. Marvel, your stupid Event can go suck on Thor's hammer.

It helps that I missed the first half.

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:13:30 GMT

I... enjoyed watching the Super Bowl?

WHO AM I

Also: tomorrow is my birthday! I sort of forgot about it this year.

....WHO AM I

But it was way, way better than it had to be, so, points to you, movie.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 05:50:11 GMT

Basically Underworld 3: Wolf of the Wolf Wolf is what happens when your metal, crit-filled D&D session gets turned into an Evanescence music video.

Also, here is your vampire Halloween costume:

a) Mug a leather daddy.
b) Buy a Bedazzler.

Here is your werewolf costume:

a) Mug a leather daddy.
b) Forget to shave.

You're welcome.

...and he is us.

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 09:11:31 GMT

I have traditionally worked in reddish workplaces. I have heard a co-worker say "I have such a crush on President Bush" right after hearing his creepy little chuckle on the breakroom television. This, for example, is an opinion unfathomable to me. I cannot... I cannot fathom it. One eventually learns to keep one's opinions under one's hat.

But I've been luxuriating in my guy winning. I read his book at lunch. I drink coffee from my commemorative 7-11 mug. My locker has his photo held in place by word magnets declaring I CAN HAS.

I overheard a conversation my manager was having pointing out that some employees feel a bit uncomfortable, and I felt this terrible, deep-rooted guilt. There is no liberty in being On The In, for I have been too much On The Outs. There is this rule called The Golden Rule, and I am pro-it.

Foley and I were having a discussion about how we should err on the side of bipatisanship when the owner of the company and his wife walked in. They had just returned from DC for the Inauguration.

"How was it?" I asked.

He got a dreamy, soft look. "It was marvelous. Cold, terrible weather... but no one complaining. And you'd look around, and see all these different people..."

"It was a world without Republicans!" said his wife.

"And it was wonderful."

We waited approximately five seconds after them leaving to burst into laughter.

Needless to say, I am keeping my Obama thermos. If my friends the Republicans want some company bipartisanship, they're in trouble.

And then they cut to George Lucas, which almost ruined it.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 08:12:45 GMT

This totally made me cry:

Honestly, some cornpone earnestness feels good about now. If Barack Obama has given me anything, it is a vacation from cynicism, and I am beyond grateful for that. I am reading The Audacity of Hope, and it has made me cry at work twice. What I am saying is Barack Obama has also given me the gift of Womanly Hope-Weeps.

(I should note everyone else in the room was making fun of this like whoa. I accept that I am alone in being touched by staged wholesome togetherness.)

Fable 2: Knothole Island: Give Us $10 And We'll Let You Wear Biker Gear

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 07:12:56 GMT

Words cannot express how excited Foley and I have been for Knothole Island, the (first?) Fable 2 DLC.

Fable 2 was hands down our game of the year last year --- not that the gameplay was the best or anything like that, but just because it was a game we could enjoy together. I had prepped for the game playing Fable while Foley watched; it was beyond pleasure to have her join in with me. We had far too much fun developing our backstory as Hero and Henchman (we had lost a drunken bet in college to determine which was which), and enjoyed the story and world quite a bit. As with the first Fable, the depth isn't as deep as you hope it to be, and you hit the shallows sooner than expected, but for sheer charm and humor it can't be beat.

And honestly, it was nice to play a game where my choices had actual consequences. I didn't cry, but I did feel genuine regret, and by god, the man got me to watch what I ate INSIDE A VIDEO GAME.

So I have to say, as much as we're enjoying piffling about Knothole Island, I do feel a little cheated that it contains pretty much everything you need to undo everything that happened in the game. Got too fat? Take a potion! Too scarred? Take a potion! Too tall? Take a potion! Bla bla bla bla potion bla.

But I can't belly-ache too much, as I'm enjoying playing with all the sanctioned cheats. And the blessings of the Island include these sweet glasses.

Fable 2, I love you.

More, please! But I want to know what happened to the heroes --- I feel like I was only starting to know Garth, Reaver, and Hammer. Not to mention Theresa. What's that crazy bitch doin' up in that tower. But I accept that the latter may well be Fable 3 (4, 5*) territory.

* = FABLE ... IN SPACE

I mean, at least it isn't starring Kevin Costner's mullet.

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 10:33:00 GMT

Rumors have it that, at one point or another, the Robin Hood movie Nottingham has been having difficulties on account of:

The leaves in Sherwood Forest weren't green enough...in the fall*

Russell Crowe is too fat

Russell Crowe thinks Sienna Miller is too hot(/less fat)

I sometimes can't tell if this is a Hollywood movie or junior high theater.

Regardless, statistically speaking, it will not be the worst Robin Hood movie.

* = This rumor kills me because clearly this will be filmed on location.

Some sleep would be really nice about now.

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 09:20:27 GMT

I just wrote a Robin Hood littlebook! I am impressed with myself that I came up with eight other ones before it even occurred to me to do the obvious. And I only did it so maybe I can have an excuse to make a t-shirt related to it. Question, where do you get your ideas; answer, the internet economy.

Foley mentioned littlebooks to a customer today (I don't know how it came up; she's Foley, she's charming, it happens) and it turns out the lady in question was a librarian, who asked if the books were ever going to get inappropriate (they aren't) and if she could share the link (she most certainly can). She recommended that we use the site as a fundraiser for an organization such as SMART. Now I feel terrible, because I was planning on using it as a fundraiser for my collection of action figures. One of my goals this year was to find a charity to support, but by jingo, I need that money for mochas. /END TERRIBLENESS

My work schedule abruptly changes this week (hello eight uninterrupted work days during a sale, ha ha ha ha ha), so I have had my birthday day off robbed from me! This will make it difficult to attend most of the parades held in my honor. My apologies if you had been selected to march as a representative of your 4H club, union, or state.

I love you, Archduke Bear.

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:13:36 GMT

Okay, folks, for your reading pleasure: littlebooks! (Soon to be littlebooks_rss, also.)

Man, I really wanted to get this online today... and the scanner croaked. So out came the camera. I CAN NEVER QUIT YOU, CAMERA. I may swap out the sorta-scans with photos, because they work and I guess are our gimmick.

Anyway, I hope you dudes like Archduke Bear. I kinda want to make a little statue of him. I could write a million books about that guy.

(Aido, your book goes out tomorrow! If you want it to be a surprise, DON'T CLICK.)

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 04:55:01 GMT

Man, Foley is just now getting over the most terrible round of the flu. We rang in 2009 in style: drinking a heady dose of Nyquil, staying very still, and watching The Court Jester.

Here's to a year of health and adventure.

(We were hoping to lauch littlebooks today, but that ain't gonna happen. Monday's gonna have to do.)

I don't think it's Bailey's.

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 06:57:02 GMT

I think "animal neckties" is my favorite invention.

"help"

Merry Christmas!

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 22:22:03 GMT

All right, folks, here it is: A Very Special Anne Christmas. The specialest christmas special of all the christmas specials.

Suck on that, Charles Schultz/Jones!

The weather seriously spoiled my ambitions for this thing, but regardless, I kept bustin' up laughing making it. Viz:

Penguin Mug.mp3

If it makes you smile half as earnestly as it made me lose it, then I've done my job. Also if I've ruined the song for you. Either way.

Happy holidays!

Yes I know wondrous doesn't have an "e"

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:22:44 GMT

Turns out that Foley had never been sledding before! So today we went to a park with a lesser hill, so Foley could try sledding on a "bunny slope."

But seriously, I'm ready for the snow to go now.

Rizzo is totally wearing a Gryffindor scarf.

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:02:08 GMT

MAN I FORGOT THAT MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL IS THE BEST MOVIE

My extra gear: a santa hat and quidditch goggles.

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:54:11 GMT

The party got cancelled like whoa --- so some of our co-workers and we changed clothes, grabbed some sleds, and headed up Mount Tabor.

The best part was seeing the one family go sliding down, and their corgi haring down the hill after them. ADORABLE.

But honestly, it's terrible out. I predict this weekend will be a lot of staring out the window and saying "What the HECK."

What I'm saying is the weather could owe me ten bucks

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 19:38:28 GMT

I'm terrifying Foley with the size of my Snowed-In Christmas playlist:

The Little Drummer Boy
Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer
Frosty the Snowman
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
A Charlie Brown Christmas
A Muppet Christmas Carol
White Christmas
The Hebrew Hammer

And maybe It's A Wonderful Life? I have never seen it. I think this may be the year.

We're all dressed up for the company Christmas party after work. I figure I've missed too much due to the weather/illness, I'm done with it, we're going no matter what---but the snow keeps falling, and falling, and falling. C'mon, weather! If it's not snowing enough to keep me from work, it's not snowing enouch to keep me from poorly dancing to Sylvester's "Disco Heat." I bribed the DJ ten bucks to put it on the playlist.

I have to go do my snow dance, now.

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:37:09 GMT

Rather than yesterday being my short day, I was called in to work open to close on the skeleton-staff-inclement-weather-strike-force.

This is, for the record, the opposite of a snow day. And I mean, it's all good in the grand scheme of things... but I have this deeply rooted sense of being wronged. It's the seven year old in my heart who believes in the inalienable right to not go to school sometimes.

I'LL GET YOU, SNOW DAY. YOU WILL BE MINE.

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 02:16:49 GMT

Foley and I will be appearing on Erika's webcast in just a few hours! We will be announcing a project that I alluded to in my last post. So, yanno. "Announcing."

In other news, it snowed like whoa Sunday, and so we ventured forth into the winter wonderland to grab some bagels and Stumptown to sustain us. It is always good to have an immediate, tasty reward for chilly toil! Fortunately Kettleman's was open and FULL of bagels because the employees got in before it started snowing, and no one had been in to buy any. It was our tasty destiny to buy as many as we could---for the good of the company, of course.